Y si cierro los ojos y no despierto?
Y si hablo al trabajo y me reporto enfermo?
Y si algún día termino lo que empiezo?
Se me acabarán así al fin los pretextos?
Para empezar a vivir y dejar de hacer lo que estoy haciendo
Que no es más que conmiserarme y perder el tiempo
Viendo pasar los días sin hacer nada más que hacerme viejo
Con el pánico de no saber lo que soy ni lo que quiero
Verdugo de mi propio ser, llama de mi propio infierno
Por ahora basta de chillar, es hora de de seguir durmiendo
miércoles, 9 de mayo de 2012
Invisible man
You don't owe me an explanation
So let's just leave it at that
I'm tired of hearing excuses
In denial of such a simple fact
I am just a fucking loser
And you clearly know it, so cut the crap
It's gonna be better anyway
For you and him and the whole gang
And though I stay here lonely
I guess it is not that bad
It's where I've always been
Living slow and dying fast
The bubble bursts, illusions fade
If anything I should be glad
Because having you just to lose you
Eventually would have been hard
Now I'm where I've always been
In my place of constant black
Like the noise that was never there
Like a shadow in the dark
Like a dreamer that can never sleep
Like a lover with a heart gone bad
I will always stay the same
Ugly and lonely and pathetically sad
Never wanted, always needing
Never needed by whom I want
Don't pretend you're sorry
And don't tell me you feel bad
You won't even remember meeting me
After you have turned your back
You'll continue feeling nothing
And I'll know my place at last
As a spirit of oblivion
The one and only invisible man
So let's just leave it at that
I'm tired of hearing excuses
In denial of such a simple fact
I am just a fucking loser
And you clearly know it, so cut the crap
It's gonna be better anyway
For you and him and the whole gang
And though I stay here lonely
I guess it is not that bad
It's where I've always been
Living slow and dying fast
The bubble bursts, illusions fade
If anything I should be glad
Because having you just to lose you
Eventually would have been hard
Now I'm where I've always been
In my place of constant black
Like the noise that was never there
Like a shadow in the dark
Like a dreamer that can never sleep
Like a lover with a heart gone bad
I will always stay the same
Ugly and lonely and pathetically sad
Never wanted, always needing
Never needed by whom I want
Don't pretend you're sorry
And don't tell me you feel bad
You won't even remember meeting me
After you have turned your back
You'll continue feeling nothing
And I'll know my place at last
As a spirit of oblivion
The one and only invisible man
Stupid dream
A death in my family
And you come to mind
Not a lovely coincidence
But it's one of a kind:
While stirring in sadness
You're all I could find
Anxious in the wake
Sleep left me behind
In a turmoil of feelings,
Like a gag and a bind
Threshold of nightmares
To run through all night.
There are no storms,
And no monsters to fight
It's just a normal day
For a together you and I
It seems and feels great
Except I know it's a lie.
I can perceive you entirely
The dreamy ocean of your eyes
A breeze tussling your hair
And making your perfume fly
Which, while touching your soft skin
Make my head feel oh so light.
But the sweeter the feeling
The more I can realise
A void that keeps growing
In that consciousness inside
Knowing that it's just a dream
Won't spare the pain to my heart and my mind.
And you come to mind
Not a lovely coincidence
But it's one of a kind:
While stirring in sadness
You're all I could find
Anxious in the wake
Sleep left me behind
In a turmoil of feelings,
Like a gag and a bind
Threshold of nightmares
To run through all night.
There are no storms,
And no monsters to fight
It's just a normal day
For a together you and I
It seems and feels great
Except I know it's a lie.
I can perceive you entirely
The dreamy ocean of your eyes
A breeze tussling your hair
And making your perfume fly
Which, while touching your soft skin
Make my head feel oh so light.
But the sweeter the feeling
The more I can realise
A void that keeps growing
In that consciousness inside
Knowing that it's just a dream
Won't spare the pain to my heart and my mind.
An attempt at farewell
Why should I not jump
What's it all to you
So what if it will hurt
So what if it affects you too
Mind your goddamn business
Give it up and stay away
Let me fuck up if I dare
It is not about you
You did well
You gave me all
You tought me great
And my exhaustion
Is not yours to bear
I'm just a weakling
A blinded, selfish jerk
But you gave me life
So thank you, it's been swell
But it is indeed mine
To live or throw away
Or even just to live it well
It all ends up in the same place
So just let me take the shortcut
And get out of your own way
To wherever you thought you were going
I will meet you on the other side someday
No, you didn't fail me
And no, you couldn't have been more there
It's not about your being or not being
It's not even about being me myself
It is just that I'm too tired
It is just that I don't care
I just ain't finding the same answers
Everybody seems to get
When they tell themselves good morning
Is there sense in this new day?
Our bodies drop their hair
They throw out a million cells
There's so fucking many of us
And you made it after others left
This is nothing personal
This is no reproach or claim
You wanted to be a grandparent
Well, you are, and I just wanna be dead
Granted, it might not seem quite as common
But it don't mean that it should not be made
There are folks who go for gay
Others presidents, others defend whales
I'm just on a different path of my vocation
I don't contribute, I don't love, I don't create
So my thing might just as well be death
I wanted to wait till you both went, I swear
Not to have you waiting there
But to avoid causing you any of this pain
But the whole point is that I'm impatient
That I'm tired and really very bad at dealing with stuff
So I hope you'll understand and go on without any blame
Cause none is yours to assume or carry
And none of this is yours to repair
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
There there...
Would it really be much better
If I had tripped and split my head?
If a truck would have dismembered me
Or I had fallen with a plane?
No goodbyes and no I love yous,
Only questions and the awful thought that it might have been unfair
Is it really that much better when it happens that way?
Could you then feel easy thinking it was meant?
Well why can't you now, I'm telling you
This is what I always knew would be my end
Ok, perhaps I thought I'd make it to 50
Like the Steppenwolf (if you deliberately ignore the end)
But we all know I tried and did my best
Hell, this may even come as a surprise to most
Which should be a sign of just how good I played at being alive
A good voice, but not a singer
A good mind, but no great jurist or writer or scientist
A good guy, but no Mother Teresa or Gandhi
A good heart, but not much husband or father material
Overall a waste of space and precious and scarce resources...
Let's agree that it's good riddance then
Or just agree to disagree
I've apologised and I've explained myself
More than you would probably even require or expect
So let's keep it short and simple
Although now it seems too late...
Let's say we're all clear about our positions
And bid ourselves farewell
What's it all to you
So what if it will hurt
So what if it affects you too
Mind your goddamn business
Give it up and stay away
Let me fuck up if I dare
It is not about you
You did well
You gave me all
You tought me great
And my exhaustion
Is not yours to bear
I'm just a weakling
A blinded, selfish jerk
But you gave me life
So thank you, it's been swell
But it is indeed mine
To live or throw away
Or even just to live it well
It all ends up in the same place
So just let me take the shortcut
And get out of your own way
To wherever you thought you were going
I will meet you on the other side someday
No, you didn't fail me
And no, you couldn't have been more there
It's not about your being or not being
It's not even about being me myself
It is just that I'm too tired
It is just that I don't care
I just ain't finding the same answers
Everybody seems to get
When they tell themselves good morning
Is there sense in this new day?
Our bodies drop their hair
They throw out a million cells
There's so fucking many of us
And you made it after others left
This is nothing personal
This is no reproach or claim
You wanted to be a grandparent
Well, you are, and I just wanna be dead
Granted, it might not seem quite as common
But it don't mean that it should not be made
There are folks who go for gay
Others presidents, others defend whales
I'm just on a different path of my vocation
I don't contribute, I don't love, I don't create
So my thing might just as well be death
I wanted to wait till you both went, I swear
Not to have you waiting there
But to avoid causing you any of this pain
But the whole point is that I'm impatient
That I'm tired and really very bad at dealing with stuff
So I hope you'll understand and go on without any blame
Cause none is yours to assume or carry
And none of this is yours to repair
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
There there...
Would it really be much better
If I had tripped and split my head?
If a truck would have dismembered me
Or I had fallen with a plane?
No goodbyes and no I love yous,
Only questions and the awful thought that it might have been unfair
Is it really that much better when it happens that way?
Could you then feel easy thinking it was meant?
Well why can't you now, I'm telling you
This is what I always knew would be my end
Ok, perhaps I thought I'd make it to 50
Like the Steppenwolf (if you deliberately ignore the end)
But we all know I tried and did my best
Hell, this may even come as a surprise to most
Which should be a sign of just how good I played at being alive
A good voice, but not a singer
A good mind, but no great jurist or writer or scientist
A good guy, but no Mother Teresa or Gandhi
A good heart, but not much husband or father material
Overall a waste of space and precious and scarce resources...
Let's agree that it's good riddance then
Or just agree to disagree
I've apologised and I've explained myself
More than you would probably even require or expect
So let's keep it short and simple
Although now it seems too late...
Let's say we're all clear about our positions
And bid ourselves farewell
Tonto y necio; idiota y terco.
No recordaba mi voz
Ni las letras de su silencio
Cuánto tiempo se perdió?
Cómo he de pagar su precio?
Este paso de los años
Me ha aturdido hasta los nervios
En mi afán de despertar
Me dormí hasta mi sepelio
Pero aún sé articular
Los sollozos con mis dedos
Aunque todo suene mal
No pretendo un gran talento
Sólo quiero descansar
Extirparme este veneno
Aliviar mi soledad
Escribiendo lo que siento
Que se acabe
Que me calle
Sin el cáncer
Del alarde
Grite o llore
Falle o logre
Nunca sobre
Don mediocre
Que me calme
Y me queme y me mate
Que me salve de arrastrarme
En el ridículo de las redes sociales
Uno más para el regreso
Para engañarme con un nuevo intento
Que dure un par de meses esta vez, al menos
Hasta que recobre la vergüenza y me consuma en un destello.
Ni las letras de su silencio
Cuánto tiempo se perdió?
Cómo he de pagar su precio?
Este paso de los años
Me ha aturdido hasta los nervios
En mi afán de despertar
Me dormí hasta mi sepelio
Pero aún sé articular
Los sollozos con mis dedos
Aunque todo suene mal
No pretendo un gran talento
Sólo quiero descansar
Extirparme este veneno
Aliviar mi soledad
Escribiendo lo que siento
Que se acabe
Que me calle
Sin el cáncer
Del alarde
Grite o llore
Falle o logre
Nunca sobre
Don mediocre
Que me calme
Y me queme y me mate
Que me salve de arrastrarme
En el ridículo de las redes sociales
Uno más para el regreso
Para engañarme con un nuevo intento
Que dure un par de meses esta vez, al menos
Hasta que recobre la vergüenza y me consuma en un destello.
miércoles, 8 de septiembre de 2010
La nueva prueba
Mira mira
Va sin manos
O más bien
Sin estar sentado
Convencionalmente
Frente a un gran aparato
Estamos probando
Nuevas formas
De seguir bloggeando
Va sin manos
O más bien
Sin estar sentado
Convencionalmente
Frente a un gran aparato
Estamos probando
Nuevas formas
De seguir bloggeando
viernes, 7 de mayo de 2010
Patético (¡El Regreso!)
No estaba mal,
lo que no es estar bien.
Ella durmió,
y en silencio él se fue
a no pensar
ni escribirle... también.
Puedo rimar,
pero la poesía ya no es
de su paladar,
ya no es su "copa" de té...
con estas mamadas,
Cómo lo iba a ser?
No se qué pensar,
mucho menos en papel.
No escribiré
sobre algo que aún no sé.
Puedo luchar
y si no, lo intentaré.
lo que no es estar bien.
Ella durmió,
y en silencio él se fue
a no pensar
ni escribirle... también.
Puedo rimar,
pero la poesía ya no es
de su paladar,
ya no es su "copa" de té...
con estas mamadas,
Cómo lo iba a ser?
No se qué pensar,
mucho menos en papel.
No escribiré
sobre algo que aún no sé.
Puedo luchar
y si no, lo intentaré.
Suscribirse a:
Entradas (Atom)